Life is hard... だけど happy?

I got my results yesterday.

I was quite nervous since I would have to do even more exams if my results differed too much from my usual abilities. But I got this sheet of paper with my results written on it and I was very happy since it was written that I would not have to do exams again. *_*

I am very proud of myself now. ^^ I really had to struggle with myself during my learning period and now the results are a lot better than I expected them to be! A lot! My English result almost made me cry. 15 points in the final exam... I never got 15 points before! That's 100%. *_* Now my 1st choice university will accept me for sure! Well, at least concerning English. There is still restricted admission for my second field of study... and I have to fight again.

When the last term was nearly at an end, I had to run for good marks. I tried everything possible to get another good mark that would help me in the finals. x_x In the end I was not able to reach my goal. Now it is a similar situation. ^^°

If I only could get 4 more points,.. With this 4 points, I could reach the numerus clausus my 1st choice university had announced for last year's applicants. I do not know what restrictions there will be this year of course. But certainly it won't get easier. ò_ó

So I will do another voluntary exam for History. I will have to reach 13 points out of 15... and I never even got close to that in school. ^^° The good thing: it cannot get worse! I cannot ruin anything by doing this exam. But... I have to learn everything again. And even my history teacher recommended not to do this additional exam. u_u°

I'm quite sick of it. ^^° I really am. But it would be stupid to stop now, right? It is just one exam... one exam I'm taking no risks with. Even if I'll make a complete fool of myself not knowing anything, being depressed in the end,.. I cannot lose. And I would be even more depressed if I never tried in the first place. 

So once again: ファイト~~~~~~ OH!!