eSKa’s blog

BFF

nobody@vox.com(eSKa) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 21:57:43 +0200

Today's "Writer's Block" Question in LiveJournal was:

"Who is your oldest friend (i.e., the friend you have known the longest)?

How often do you see or talk to each other? Do your close friends tend

to stay the same year after year or change over time?"

I've known my best friend for 7 years now and we've been best friends ever since. We see each other only about 2 times a year since we live 600km apart, but we write several mails a day and call each other on the phone. It is quite amazing because we'd never been living close to each other in the first place and she's also 4 years older than me (that is quite much when you're 14 years old), so it's always been like a sisterly relationship. Although we cannot share stuff like meeting after work or going shopping on weekends, we share a lot of emotions and common interests, so it's never boring to be with her or talk to her. In fact, for me, she became a part of my family years ago and I never want to live a life without her as a friend. I'm afraid, I'm really emotional about this. :P But it's probably a little bit creepy, too... *lol* At least for other people seeing us. I'm living alone by now, but she always knows what my plans for the day are, so she always knows where I am. I, too, feel very uncomfortable when I haven't got a message from her about what she's going to do that day. It feels so strange when we cannot keep in touch for more than a day. It's a habbit already, to start the day with breakfast and a mail, asking her how she's been and what she's going to do today. And everytime, I feel happy not only receiving her mails, but answering them as well.

My mother once said jokingly "You stalk each other's lives and don't even find that strange?" It made me laugh a bit but, I'm afraid, it's exactly like that. ^^° But isn't it normal? When you go to school with someone, you spend half of your day together and during the breaks, you will talk about the other half. We never had the chance to be like this, so I guess it's okay to keep a close friendship as if we'd see each other every day, without actually meeting up. *lol*

For the last question: My close friends... well, I don't know. How long exactly is "over time"? *lol* Eventually, I don't have an ever changing circle of friends. I'll keep people I like close to me.

Monini_to_Danini

(I'm sorry for the picture, but it's the most current one I have. ^^°°°)

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AAA - Pieces of a Dream

nobody@vox.com(eSKa) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 16:19:35 +0200

Another translation, this time not done by me but by Megchan

--> http://www.kiwi-musume.com/lyrics/aaa/yumenokakera.html

AAA - Yume no kakera

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AAA - Us

nobody@vox.com(eSKa) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:46:20 +0200

This time I'd like to post a self-made video with an also self-made translation of AAA's "Us".

I love this song from the bottom of my heart and so I always wanted to translate it. It's like a really pure love confession, almost as metaphorical as a poem. That's why I love Japanese music. *_*

AAA - Us (Translation)

I just love this song. The melody is beautiful and the lyrics really get to me. I like the idea of someone although being only one-sided in love, caring about the dreams of his/her special person. The metaphor of the bird and the sky is really cute.

I tried my best to time the lines properly, but it is just the case that Japanese can convey meaning in a much shorter manner most of the time, so it is unavoidable to... well.... read quickly sometimes. XD

The few concert scenes were taken from AAA's concert DVD, April 2007. I liked the performance a lot!

Information:

AAA (pronounced as 'Triple A') are a "vocal dancing unit", that started out with 8 members in 2005 and is down to 7 members by now. I like the fact that there are men and women in this vocal group, so they can sing all kinds of songs and use the great melodical variety of male as well as female voices. So sometimes the women will sing harmony for the men, or it's the other way around, or they'll sing in dialogue. And since they are a dance group, their concerts are never boring. ^.~

The original performance:

AAA - Us (4th ATTACK Performance)

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Augsburg~ Augsburg~

nobody@vox.com(eSKa) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 23:14:12 +0200

I'll go to visit my dear sister this August! ^_____^ I booked the tickets for the train already. Ah~ I'm so happy~~~~!

We haven't seen each other since March! >___< It has been such a long time already. ;____;

It's still one month I have to wait since I'll go on 27th. And "to wait" is probably the wrong word. I have stuff to do! But anyway:

I'm looking forward to it! ^v^

Nee-chan! Hisashiburi!

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Hanamuke - Farewell Gift

nobody@vox.com(eSKa) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 02:52:49 +0200

Tegomasu - Hanamuke (Farewell Gift) [Radiorip]

This song is just so sad and positive nevertheless, saying goodbye to the one you love in order to let this person be happy.
Also, the two of Tegomasu have such soft voices. I fell in love with this song immediately. I mean... what other reason is there for me to buy the new single two times (regular and limited edition) as well as the album? Four CDs (+ two DVDs to be exact)! I really love them.

The translation is not 100% accurate since I changed some things when they sound better in Japanese than in English, as in the chorus, it is not "aisle" but "the long way/path", meaning that the bride takes the first step of the long way down the aisle. Sounds good in Japanese but not so striking in English. ^^° It probably can be expressed properly this way, but I just changed it as much as I liked as long as it would fit the feeling I had in mind listening to this song.
What I liked very much is how in the beginning, it is "I sing this song to you (alone)", but in the end it turns into "I sing for the both of you", showing that one actually accepts the fact that one's dearest person belongs to someone else. It's also so positive in the aspect that in the end it's "I want to love someone just as much as you do". It's like letting go after all.

Heartbreaking. At least for me, it totally is.

I will leave this video with the radiorip version, although I've got the studio version by now. I'll probably update it later?

Seriously. How can you not love them?

Just for the record:

Tegomasu, that is Tegoshi Yuuya and Masuda Takahisa, are two of the six members of my favourite Japanese band NEWS. I really like the style of their songs, mostly being very pure, cute and heartwarming. Always in melody-harmony. Very nice. They never fail to make my day brighter. It's probably not the music most of my friends like, but the lyrics are the best, drawing such a clear picture of situations, people and feelings that it's like they are telling a whole story in only a few words. They move me in a very deep way, just like reading a poem. One day, I'd like to see them on stage. Maybe next year? Probably not, hu? Why is NEWS only having concert tours in winter?!

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Drama!!!

nobody@vox.com(eSKa) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 02:11:54 +0200

--> http://www.uni-potsdam.de/u/EDG/index_eng.html

Recently (better: since a few weeks, or is it months already?), I have been with the English Drama Group of my university. The very strange thing is.... I'm the only one who's not acting. I never had! Even when there are people around who are not involved in the current play, they are former members of the group or they are only on some kind of hiatus or whatever. But I never had been a part of the group and I am still not, since I'm not acting. So why am I hanging around with the group?

It all started out with my pictures of Frisbee-playing students I posted some time ago here on the blog. I took a photo of these guys even when they were moving and so one of them (being part of the drama group) thought about me as a photographer for "promotion shots". So I got dragged along, taking the photos that later appeared on the promotion poster. The first time I stepped into the little theatre on the campus, my heart was racing like crazy. It's not like I own a super cool pro camera or I’m good at taking photos, I do not even do it frequently! I've got a crappy digital cam and take pictures merely when I feel like it. I thought that it was probably not what they expected from me. While taking the photos, I was even more nervous. So I was totally relieved when I left and could go home, since I felt so - much - out - of - place.

Then.

"Won't you come and see the dress rehearsal?"

\ÒoÓ/

You're serious?!

In the end, I really DID go. I took photos again, because I felt like I had to. I cannot just be there and watch, right? Since in fact, the play is secret and everything. I cannot just sit there and watch, just because I took some amateur pictures! So I took photos. And felt out of place again. I did not talk to anybody much since it felt like everyone was thinking: “Why is she here anyway?” Additionally, I did not want to make them nervous because me sitting there and watch was like having an audience. I felt so bad. Dig me a hole! Let me disappear! But in the end, people liked the photos. Members of the group (besides the one who got me into all this to start with) asked me to come again.

And so, I joined them. Again and again. I blew up balloons, did the makeup and hair make before the performances, talked to everyone, took even more photos, made friends.

So why am I writing all this?

The reason is Laura, who invited me to her good-bye party tonight because she’s leaving Germany. Laura is a member of the drama group and probably the one I got the closest with. She is super sweet and really lovable. Tonight I went to her party. Among the gifts she received, there was one of the promotion posters with everyone’s messages. In the end, she handed the poster to me, got me a pen and asked me to write something.

“But I’m not even a member of the group!”

“But you did my hair! And you took all the photos! ^^”

I could not think of anything to write, so I drew cherries (her character’s name was Cherry), some hearts (because they express best the impression I have of her), and a musical note, because in Japanese, “music” is made of the characters for “sound” and “happiness”. So music is something that is always connected to happiness in my mind, what is what I wanted to express. I had no time to explain it to her, so she’ll probably never know (I use a LOT Japanese lately that no one is going to get anyway! I’m so stupid!), but I hope the hearts and notes will convey the happy feeling I had in mind. Cherry really was my reason to feel welcomed in the drama group.

~*°*~

So now, the semester is going to end. July is almost over and I will spend my August writing my term paper and a report. However, I’m a little bit worried about my semester break...

During the last break (that was around March? March and April, wasn’t it?), I fell in love so badly that it was not even funny anymore. I’m pretty sure it was the situation’s fault and not mines. I was totally lured into this! (Totally!!!) But still I’m wondering what’s going to happen this time. Is it going to be similar to last time? Will the same situations and opportunities occur? But I’m smarter this time, aren’t I? I feel like someone who’s grown up to a person that won’t make the same mistake again. It is like knowing how the magician makes the cards disappear, or telling the same joke twice.

You just won’t be amazed anymore.

I’m still not thinking about the future. Well, I’m thinking about my studies and everything (even decided on some of the courses I want to take next semester!), but when it comes to love matters, I’m still unsure.

There’s this love I have half fallen out of and that keeps me company every single day. I feel like I’ve fallen out enough to not be seriously hurt anymore but not enough to abandon all hope. It’s okay to come closer. But do I wish for it to happen? Don’t feel like it but cannot tell for sure. Strange feeling. Am I too naïve to realise I’m made fun of? I don’t even know if I’m made fun of. Probably it’s my own fault to get into this mess of feelings, relationships and pseudo-relationships, conditions, circumstances – them and us. It’s not even us. It’s you and me – not one bit more, I’m afraid. I don’t even know if I’m expecting things to happen or if I’m just doing this to see what happens next. Can I maintain the situation as it is now? Will it become painful? Or just normal? Or not interesting anymore? What happens if I’m not interesting for him anymore? What keeps him interested anyway?

Fact is... I want more. Not more in a way of “more”, like in taking the next step or anything. I’m perfectly fine with the level I’m on right now. It’s so, so, so perfect that I feel really good recently. But I’d like to have more, just in terms of frequency. I’d like to be hugged and hug back, to cuddle up on the sofa, to speak honestly, to feel special, and to share these times when you feel closest to each other. I have all this, but it is so seldom, that I’m always unsure if things haven’t changed already. Isn’t that stupid? ^^°

So all I have left to say is:

Welcome semester break! Give me the time to think about all the stuff I’m yet confused about, or just let the things happen that will bring motion to my thoughts that are so dead in the water.

What a drama!

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Lovesicknesses and other unnecessary stuff

nobody@vox.com(eSKa) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 19:15:41 +0200

I usually don't post about stuff like this, but it is just so present for me at the moment. ^^° I'm not feeling well in my own body and men are stressing me out. They really are. Isn't this supposed to be easy? I feel like a teenager though I turned 21 recently. I should probably think about more important things. ^^

I don't think I'm a jealous person. Not in the negative sense of the word. It's not that I envy the other person and wish she would not have what she has, but I just end up thinking something like "Ahh~ いいな～ I'd like to have that too".

To have a share in something.

That's probably it. I don't want other people to not have something but I just want to have it too. ^^° Is that twisted?

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Random

nobody@vox.com(eSKa) — Sat, 23 May 2009 23:43:01 +0200

There is not much to blog about. I've read stuff for my Gender Studies class for about 4 hours now and it's not going to end. I still have no topic for my essay and I honestly just want to cut this damn course. The stuff we read in class up till now is not helping at all. I mean... what did I learn? That people are arguing about the right use of stupid terms and that different authors cannot decide who's more at fault in analysing stuff? What's the point, honestly?! I don't get it... I just don't see a problem I could probably discuss in an essay. Don't know where these authors are getting at.

I started to fight my over-weight again. This time it's Metabolic Balance since I actually feel sleepy all the time and cannot concentrate properly. I hope healthy food will solve this in a way and I'll be fit again. It's just that I cannot do it properly... I cannot bring myself to follow the instructions for at least one week. x_x But it's better now, I guess.

My parents travelled to Mallorca so I got the car. ^n^ Yay~! I'll go and buy food on Monday, what is actually pretty awesome because I won't have to carry heavy water bottles all the way home. *___* While I'm at it, I'll just buy all the heavy stuff I'll need in near future anyway. XD But there's one problem: ... Do I really have to drive in the center of Potsdam? I'm totally not a good city driver. X_X

That's it, I guess. I'll just get ready to sleep now. Tomorrow's going to be another day with a lot of Gender Studies and Linguistics II and bla.

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Frisbee Fun

nobody@vox.com(eSKa) — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 21:07:29 +0200

Just uploading some pictures so my friends can see them. *lol* I kind of think they have a right to, since they are IN the pictures.

Starring: Steffen (two times), Johsti and me (who's not in the shot).

Edit:

Since I've got the permission to keep the pics online, I can as well write something more about it. *lol*

Isn't it funny how grown up people can have so much fun playing with a frisbee? XD Honestly... who needs a playstation when you can have a frisbee? It has been a long time since I actually went outside to play. But I totally enjoyed it. ^^

Actually, university is a strange thing. When I graduated from school, I was VERY unsure about university. I'm not the type to make friends easily so I wondered if I would be able to even talk to people. Organizing stuff, having courses and lectures, thinking of the years to come... I was so afraid. X_X But everything turned out to be a lot easier than I thought. Not the whole university thing, but finding friends. Only by chance, I met some girls who were studying the exact same subjects I did. It's not like we're BFFs now (and it seems like we're not even seeing each other often any more), but in the end, they introduced me to some people I can very well imagine to become BFFs with in the future. It's so easy to be with them. I usually hate to hang out with people I don't know, having small talk and all. But during the past semester break, after hanging out with some people, having random dorm parties... I thought that being alone was extremely boring! I ever actually thought so before. Oo But it was so funny and not awkward at all. It took me about 4 years in school to become good friends with two of my class mates, but it took me only one semester to get close to a lot more people in university. Amazing world.

So besides moving to Golm, starting university and struggling with lectures, courses and seminars, my life has changed quite a bit. In a good way. I guess it means I'm not completely antisocial. *lol* Halleluja for that.

Oh, I almost forgot:

Steffen B. (see the pictures above) is still single and looking for a girlfriend. ;) Comment and mail sections are now open for applications! XD

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雨が雪に変わった~ ♪

nobody@vox.com(eSKa) — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 19:23:34 +0100

Snow! Like... everywhere! O___O

We didn't have white christmas this year and, honestly, I didn't expect it to snow this winter anyways. It's not likely to snow in my region. Well, it does! But the thin layer of snow will melt with the first sunrays anyway. It's always like that.

Or so I thought!

This year it's like... woooooah! So, although my feet were hurting like hell (bad shoes! >_<), I took a walk through the park next to my university instead of taking the bus (that I had missed anyway). And I SO love my new mobile for the photos I can take with it! *___*

Berlin, Near the Station

PS.: I'm really looking forward to Nakushita Kioku! I finished listening to the audio book of the original novel ("Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac") today and I can totally see why they renamed Will Mirai! Come on, shoot the movie faster! XDDD

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