12 posts tagged “blogger's life”

Today's "Writer's Block" Question in LiveJournal was:

 

"Who is your oldest friend (i.e., the friend you have known the longest)?

How often do you see or talk to each other? Do your close friends tend

to stay the same year after year or change over time?"

I've known my best friend for 7 years now and we've been best friends ever since. We see each other only about 2 times a year since we live 600km apart, but we write several mails a day and call each other on the phone. It is quite amazing because we'd never been living close to each other in the first place and she's also 4 years older than me (that is quite much when you're 14 years old), so it's always been like a sisterly relationship. Although we cannot share stuff like meeting after work or going shopping on weekends, we share a lot of emotions and common interests, so it's never boring to be with her or talk to her. In fact, for me, she became a part of my family years ago and I never want to live a life without her as a friend. I'm afraid, I'm really emotional about this. :P But it's probably a little bit creepy, too... *lol* At least for other people seeing us. I'm living alone by now, but she always knows what my plans for the day are, so she always knows where I am. I, too, feel very uncomfortable when I haven't got a message from her about what she's going to do that day. It feels so strange when we cannot keep in touch for more than a day. It's a habbit already, to start the day with breakfast and a mail, asking her how she's been and what she's going to do today. And everytime, I feel happy not only receiving her mails, but answering them as well.

My mother once said jokingly "You stalk each other's lives and don't even find that strange?" It made me laugh a bit but, I'm afraid, it's exactly like that. ^^° But isn't it normal? When you go to school with someone, you spend half of your day together and during the breaks, you will talk about the other half. We never had the chance to be like this, so I guess it's okay to keep a close friendship as if we'd see each other every day, without actually meeting up. *lol*

For the last question: My close friends... well, I don't know. How long exactly is "over time"? *lol* Eventually, I don't have an ever changing circle of friends. I'll keep people I like close to me.

Monini_to_Danini

(I'm sorry for the picture, but it's the most current one I have. ^^°°°)

I'll go to visit my dear sister this August! ^_____^ I booked the tickets for the train already. Ah~ I'm so happy~~~~!

We haven't seen each other since March! >___< It has been such a long time already. ;____;

It's still one month I have to wait since I'll go on 27th. And "to wait" is probably the wrong word. I have stuff to do! But anyway:

I'm looking forward to it! ^v^

Nee-chan! Hisashiburi!

--> http://www.uni-potsdam.de/u/EDG/index_eng.html

Recently (better: since a few weeks, or is it months already?), I have been with the English Drama Group of my university. The very strange thing is.... I'm the only one who's not acting. I never had! Even when there are people around who are not involved in the current play, they are former members of the group or they are only on some kind of hiatus or whatever. But I never had been a part of the group and I am still not, since I'm not acting. So why am I hanging around with the group?

It all started out with my pictures of Frisbee-playing students I posted some time ago here on the blog. I took a photo of these guys even when they were moving and so one of them (being part of the drama group) thought about me as a photographer for "promotion shots". So I got dragged along, taking the photos that later appeared on the promotion poster. The first time I stepped into the little theatre on the campus, my heart was racing like crazy. It's not like I own a super cool pro camera or I’m good at taking photos, I do not even do it frequently! I've got a crappy digital cam and take pictures merely when I feel like it. I thought that it was probably not what they expected from me. While taking the photos, I was even more nervous. So I was totally relieved when I left and could go home, since I felt so - much - out - of - place.

Then.

"Won't you come and see the dress rehearsal?"

\ÒoÓ/

You're serious?!

In the end, I really DID go. I took photos again, because I felt like I had to. I cannot just be there and watch, right? Since in fact, the play is secret and everything. I cannot just sit there and watch, just because I took some amateur pictures! So I took photos. And felt out of place again. I did not talk to anybody much since it felt like everyone was thinking: “Why is she here anyway?” Additionally, I did not want to make them nervous because me sitting there and watch was like having an audience. I felt so bad. Dig me a hole! Let me disappear! But in the end, people liked the photos. Members of the group (besides the one who got me into all this to start with) asked me to come again.

And so, I joined them. Again and again. I blew up balloons, did the makeup and hair make before the performances, talked to everyone, took even more photos, made friends.

So why am I writing all this?

The reason is Laura, who invited me to her good-bye party tonight because she’s leaving Germany. Laura is a member of the drama group and probably the one I got the closest with. She is super sweet and really lovable. Tonight I went to her party. Among the gifts she received, there was one of the promotion posters with everyone’s messages. In the end, she handed the poster to me, got me a pen and asked me to write something.

“But I’m not even a member of the group!”

“But you did my hair! And you took all the photos! ^^”

I could not think of anything to write, so I drew cherries (her character’s name was Cherry), some hearts (because they express best the impression I have of her), and a musical note, because in Japanese, “music” is made of the characters for “sound” and “happiness”. So music is something that is always connected to happiness in my mind, what is what I wanted to express. I had no time to explain it to her, so she’ll probably never know (I use a LOT Japanese lately that no one is going to get anyway! I’m so stupid!), but I hope the hearts and notes will convey the happy feeling I had in mind. Cherry really was my reason to feel welcomed in the drama group.

~*°*~

So now, the semester is going to end. July is almost over and I will spend my August writing my term paper and a report. However, I’m a little bit worried about my semester break...

During the last break (that was around March? March and April, wasn’t it?), I fell in love so badly that it was not even funny anymore. I’m pretty sure it was the situation’s fault and not mines. I was totally lured into this! (Totally!!!) But still I’m wondering what’s going to happen this time. Is it going to be similar to last time? Will the same situations and opportunities occur? But I’m smarter this time, aren’t I? I feel like someone who’s grown up to a person that won’t make the same mistake again. It is like knowing how the magician makes the cards disappear, or telling the same joke twice.

You just won’t be amazed anymore.

I’m still not thinking about the future. Well, I’m thinking about my studies and everything (even decided on some of the courses I want to take next semester!), but when it comes to love matters, I’m still unsure.

There’s this love I have half fallen out of and that keeps me company every single day. I feel like I’ve fallen out enough to not be seriously hurt anymore but not enough to abandon all hope. It’s okay to come closer. But do I wish for it to happen? Don’t feel like it but cannot tell for sure. Strange feeling. Am I too naïve to realise I’m made fun of? I don’t even know if I’m made fun of. Probably it’s my own fault to get into this mess of feelings, relationships and pseudo-relationships, conditions, circumstances – them and us. It’s not even us. It’s you and me – not one bit more, I’m afraid. I don’t even know if I’m expecting things to happen or if I’m just doing this to see what happens next. Can I maintain the situation as it is now? Will it become painful? Or just normal? Or not interesting anymore? What happens if I’m not interesting for him anymore? What keeps him interested anyway?

Fact is... I want more. Not more in a way of “more”, like in taking the next step or anything. I’m perfectly fine with the level I’m on right now. It’s so, so, so perfect that I feel really good recently. But I’d like to have more, just in terms of frequency. I’d like to be hugged and hug back, to cuddle up on the sofa, to speak honestly, to feel special, and to share these times when you feel closest to each other. I have all this, but it is so seldom, that I’m always unsure if things haven’t changed already. Isn’t that stupid? ^^°

So all I have left to say is:

Welcome semester break! Give me the time to think about all the stuff I’m yet confused about, or just let the things happen that will bring motion to my thoughts that are so dead in the water.

What a drama!

There is not much to blog about. I've read stuff for my Gender Studies class for about 4 hours now and it's not going to end. I still have no topic for my essay and I honestly just want to cut this damn course. The stuff we read in class up till now is not helping at all. I mean... what did I learn? That people are arguing about the right use of stupid terms and that different authors cannot decide who's more at fault in analysing stuff? What's the point, honestly?! I don't get it... I just don't see a problem I could probably discuss in an essay. Don't know where these authors are getting at.

I started to fight my over-weight again. This time it's Metabolic Balance since I actually feel sleepy all the time and cannot concentrate properly. I hope healthy food will solve this in a way and I'll be fit again. It's just that I cannot do it properly... I cannot bring myself to follow the instructions for at least one week. x_x But it's better now, I guess.

My parents travelled to Mallorca so I got the car. ^n^ Yay~! I'll go and buy food on Monday, what is actually pretty awesome because I won't have to carry heavy water bottles all the way home. *___* While I'm at it, I'll just buy all the heavy stuff I'll need in near future anyway. XD But there's one problem: ... Do I really have to drive in the center of Potsdam? I'm totally not a good city driver. X_X

That's it, I guess. I'll just get ready to sleep now. Tomorrow's going to be another day with a lot of Gender Studies and Linguistics II and bla.

Just uploading some pictures so my friends can see them. *lol* I kind of think they have a right to, since they are IN the pictures.

Starring: Steffen (two times), Johsti and me (who's not in the shot).

Edit:

Since I've got the permission to keep the pics online, I can as well write something more about it. *lol*

Isn't it funny how grown up people can have so much fun playing with a frisbee? XD Honestly... who needs a playstation when you can have a frisbee? It has been a long time since I actually went outside to play. But I totally enjoyed it. ^^

Actually, university is a strange thing. When I graduated from school, I was VERY unsure about university. I'm not the type to make friends easily so I wondered if I would be able to even talk to people. Organizing stuff, having courses and lectures, thinking of the years to come... I was so afraid. X_X But everything turned out to be a lot easier than I thought. Not the whole university thing, but finding friends. Only by chance, I met some girls who were studying the exact same subjects I did. It's not like we're BFFs now (and it seems like we're not even seeing each other often any more), but in the end, they introduced me to some people I can very well imagine to become BFFs with in the future. It's so easy to be with them. I usually hate to hang out with people I don't know, having small talk and all. But during the past semester break, after hanging out with some people, having random dorm parties... I thought that being alone was extremely boring! I ever actually thought so before. Oo But it was so funny and not awkward at all. It took me about 4 years in school to become good friends with two of my class mates, but it took me only one semester to get close to a lot more people in university. Amazing world.

So besides moving to Golm, starting university and struggling with lectures, courses and seminars, my life has changed quite a bit. In a good way. I guess it means I'm not completely antisocial. *lol* Halleluja for that.

Oh, I almost forgot:

Steffen B. (see the pictures above) is still single and looking for a girlfriend. ;) Comment and mail sections are now open for applications! XD

I got my results yesterday.

I was quite nervous since I would have to do even more exams if my results differed too much from my usual abilities. But I got this sheet of paper with my results written on it and I was very happy since it was written that I would not have to do exams again. *_*

I am very proud of myself now. ^^ I really had to struggle with myself during my learning period and now the results are a lot better than I expected them to be! A lot! My English result almost made me cry. 15 points in the final exam... I never got 15 points before! That's 100%. *_* Now my 1st choice university will accept me for sure! Well, at least concerning English. There is still restricted admission for my second field of study... and I have to fight again.

When the last term was nearly at an end, I had to run for good marks. I tried everything possible to get another good mark that would help me in the finals. x_x In the end I was not able to reach my goal. Now it is a similar situation. ^^°

If I only could get 4 more points,.. With this 4 points, I could reach the numerus clausus my 1st choice university had announced for last year's applicants. I do not know what restrictions there will be this year of course. But certainly it won't get easier. ò_ó

So I will do another voluntary exam for History. I will have to reach 13 points out of 15... and I never even got close to that in school. ^^° The good thing: it cannot get worse! I cannot ruin anything by doing this exam. But... I have to learn everything again. And even my history teacher recommended not to do this additional exam. u_u°

I'm quite sick of it. ^^° I really am. But it would be stupid to stop now, right? It is just one exam... one exam I'm taking no risks with. Even if I'll make a complete fool of myself not knowing anything, being depressed in the end,.. I cannot lose. And I would be even more depressed if I never tried in the first place. 

So once again: ファイト~~~~~~ OH!!

Flowers

My mother is going to plant those on the balcony.

In summer I like to be there a lot! There is sun from morning till evening and my mother always takes care of the flowers, decorations and stuff.

But... it would be even nicer if my father wasn't having an obsession with cactuses! >_< Just look at the picture! See that ugly cactus?

Well, there do exist beautiful cactuses. But the ones on our balcony are definitely not. And they hurt!

Our balcony is quite narrow. So it had happened many times that I was sitting there, my arm slipped off of the armrest and *PAN*, the cactus was right next to me.   -_- There is not enough space for cactuses AND me! >_< One of us has to go! ò_ó Well... mostly I'm the one to show the white feather...

New glasses

A few days ago I bought new sunglasses. In fact, I own several other pairs already, but they're all broken. So I used this opportunity to buy a new one.

I always wanted to own a pair of these big sunglasses. XD Now I can start to fix my old ones. *lol*

Recently I spend a lot of money. ^^° I should stop that but my school is holding it's prom in June, so I was buying a lot of stuff for this evening. I, kind of, got used to spend money in the past few weeks.

I promise to get rid of this habit! ^^° I have to save money anyway! Out there, there still is a motorbike that wants to be bought by me! XD

Yesterday I went to school again to see my biology teacher the last time before I'll have to do my exam on Friday. Since I have no lessons recently, I haven't been going to school. So I realized just yesterday that the trees are all green by now and it looks so nice. I really like my school. ^^ I'm a little sad that my school times will be over in less than a month. Therefore I took a few pictures.

This is the school building.

It was renovated just 2 years ago although my class is the last one to graduate here. It will be closed next year and all pupils will have to go to

Way

another school in town. There will be another school moving into this building... but I have no idea which. ^^° I'm just happy the building will not be knocked down.

I like our little alley here. *lol* In winter it looks quite scary since the leafless branches reach all over the way. But in late spring till autumn it looks quite nice. ^.^ Like a roof out of leaves.

Gym

That's our gym. XD It was painted just 3 month ago. Everyone was like "What a color is THAT supposed to be?!" but in the end I'm happy about it. Looks fresh. *lol* Before it was grey-brownish. The color of cement all over, similar to the color the building in the background has. That's the former primary school by the way. Looks scary...

The best thing about the gym is, now it's nice inside, too! Gee, why do I have to leave school when everything becomes pretty! All the years I was afraid the wooden floor would break sooner or later, but know it is just fun to do PE. Well, now I don't have to do it anymore. *lol* One way or another, that's nice too. XD

That's all about my school. ^^° Maybe I will take more pictures on 5th June. That'll be my last day and I'm meeting up with the members of my major class. That'll be fun. ^.^

...this would be some of the songs.

For the German songs, I tried to translate (always written on the right-hand side). Not very poetic, but you get the idea. ^^° Translations for the Japanese songs are taken from animelyrics.com or somewhere else.

Opening Credits: Farin Urlaub - Wunderbar

„Du bist nicht zu klein,                                      „You’re not too small

nein die andern sind zu groß                             No, the others are too tall

Du bist nicht zu klein,                                       You’re not too small

sondern die andern sind zu groß                        but the others are too tall

Sie sind verlorne Riesen, so einsam wie bizarr    They are lost giants, as lonely as bizarre

Aber du bist nicht zu klein                                 But you’re not too small

Du bist wunderbar!“                                           You are wonderful!”

(Actually this is only the second verse of two others: the first is about people not being too fat and the third is about people not being too slow. But I think, this verse describes me the best... although I am quite slow sometimes, too. ^^°)

Waking Up: Barenaked Ladies – If I Had A Million Dollars

“If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dooollaaa~rs

...I'd be rich!”

(and would not stand up to go to school but let school come to me! Mwuahah! XD)

First Day At School/Work: NEWS – News Nippon

“Go ahead! Do your best~!”

Finding The Most Special Person: Silbermond – Das Beste

„Du hast es wieder mal geschafft,                      „You did it once again,
mir den Atem zu rauben.                                  you took my breath away.
Wenn du neben mir liegst                                 When you are lying beside me
dann kann ich es kaum glauben,                       I can hardly believe

dass jemand wie ich                                         that someone like me
sowas schönes wie dich verdient hat.“                deserves something as beautiful as you“

Fight Song: Arashi – We Can Make It!

“Hontou no yume wa itsumo soba ni aru~!”

Breaking Up: Ne-Yo - So Sick

“And I’m so sick of love songs
So tired of tears

So done with wishing you were still here
Said I’m so sick of love songs, so sad and slow

So why can’t I turn off the radio?”

Prom: Gloria Gaynor – I Am What I Am

“I am what I am

I don't want praise, I don't want pity

I bang my own drum

some think it's noise

I think it's pretty!”

Life's OK: Scissor Sisters – Don’t Feel Like Dancing

(Not especially because of the lyric but I cannot help but move when I hear this song. ^.^)

Also:

- B’z - Koigokoro

- Dreams come true – Ahaha

-  Arashi – Sakura Sake/Love so sweet/Happiness

- SweetS – Grow Into Shining Stars/Sky

- Morning Musume – Koko Ni Iruze

- Nobodyknows+ - Kokoro Odoru

Mental Breakdown: Misato Aki – Kimi Ga Sora Datta

 “Miagereba, kimi ga sora datta.”                        “When I looked up, you were my sky.”

Also:

- ayaka – I believe

- Stacie Orrico – More to Life

"I am the one and only~

Nobody I’d rather be~!”

Driving: Charcoal Filter – Kodoku na taiyou

(Last year... or maybe even the year before, I was addicted to this band! Kodoku na taiyou is one of my fav songs. I never heard it while driving but... maybe I should try! XD)

Also:

- Folder5 – Ready! (Because driving is fun and this song is fun, too!)

Flashback: S Club 7 – Never Had A Dream Come True

“I never had a dream come true

‘till the day that I found you

Even though I pretend that I've moved on

You'll always be my baby

I never found the words to say

You're the one I think about each day

And I know no matter where life takes me to

A part of me will always be with you”

Getting Back Together: Daniel Bedingfield – If You’re Not The One

“And I hope you are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with

And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with”

(It’s just too beautiful.)

Birth of Child: Aladdin – A Whole New World

“A whole new world

Every turn a surprise

With new horizons to pursue

Every moment red-letter

I'll chase them anywhere

There's time to spare

Let me share this whole new world with you”

(The song is not meant this way but I think, it is quite fitting.)

Final Battle: B’z - Ultra Soul

Last Song: Nektarios – Looks Like We Made It

"Seems like our world has just begun

And after all we said and done

Looks like we made it"

Ending Credits: Juli – Regen und Meer

„Ich bin der Regen und du bist das Meer~“          „I am the rain and you are the sea~“

(The lyrics are not fitting an ending theme but... I like the melody. ^^°)